Because they don't hate us enough already...

It's finally happened. Forget about diplomacy, bring home the troops for Christmas, and fear not the $100 barrel of oil--Messiah has arrived to save the day. Well, MTV anyway. Yes, the epitome of America's "shit culture" (yes, I've trademarked it) has come to the Middle East. According to MTV they are hoping to "break boundaries without disrespecting their tradition and culture," (thanks AP). Hmm, how exactly do you crack an egg and cook it up without disrespecting the mother hen? OK, yes I just compared Arabic culture to a chicken, but you get my point. Either it will be so watered down that it will have no challenging content or it will cause a stir, thus radicalizing as much as it indoctrinates. Speaking of which, I'm all for using culture, in addition to other forms of soft power, to bring about positive modernization in places that frankly need it. I'm just not sure I want Arab kids emulating hip-hop stars, no matter how timid, talking about rims, and watching reality TV. Look what it's done here, where we actually have options other than either MTV and Madrassas.

In reality, the many millions of viewers have not only been westernized already but are avid fans of hip-hop--why else would MTV launch this channel if not to capitalize on a booming market? Willing allies in the "war(s) on terror" they aint. Most of the viewership and the station itself will undoubtedly be centered around Dubai and the other more western-friendly Emirates. Remember, this is the playground of the Middle East's wealthy, male elite--'what happens in Dubai, stays in Dubai' (not mine, but wish it was). I wonder, though, if these oil baron-sheiks really want their daughters asking them why they have to wear their burkas.

Interestingly, to celebrate the channel's launch MTV brought out two of their biggest stars: Akon and Ludacris. I'll let the Dubai City Guide describe the breathtaking scene.

"Senegalese-born Akon wowed the audience with two songs from his best-selling album Konvicted [like convicted for drinking alcohol or being gang raped], including his recent hit single ‘Smack That’ [as in 'smack that ho' or 'smack that ass'] and ‘Don’t Matter.’ Ludacris pumped up the crowd with hit songs like ‘Pimpin’ [my ride/that bitch/your bitch/(again) that ass] all Over the World’ and ‘Money Maker.’" I suppose the sheiks are down with that last one, though...